We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
