Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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