all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
