you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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