I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
love makes seman taste better
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
