put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
