I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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