I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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