I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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