Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
