Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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