somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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