how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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