Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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