Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
