I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
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