There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
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