Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
