I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
