We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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