ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize