Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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