he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
