So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
