its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Randomize
