i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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