On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
So squirting runs in the family.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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