I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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