omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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