The Swedes wanted a tensome.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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