i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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