Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
