Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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