My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
