You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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