if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
