She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
