I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
