OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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