I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
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