if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I just googled if crying burns calories
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
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