he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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