i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
