boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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