Me too!
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
