she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I am midnight drunk by noon
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
