I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
