i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
We had sex on a dog bed..
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
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