I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
