yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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