I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
