on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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