idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
