Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
