What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize
