i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
