Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
